I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
