Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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