this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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