I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The power of my boobs compel you
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize