I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
