I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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