let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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