i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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