chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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