i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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