Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
