no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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