marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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