I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Two words: nipple clamps
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