so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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