i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
