kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
