Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i will never coherently bang her
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
