I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
