i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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