apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
