I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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