i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
