woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
