Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
