There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize