As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
