i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
