butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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