i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
