Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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