remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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