North Korea, Best Korea!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
