Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
