DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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