FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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