My pussy is not your playground.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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