Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
