no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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