apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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