yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
