I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
