I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
kristin has been a bad kristin
do herpes really smell.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
