And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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