We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
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God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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