I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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