We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
