R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
