my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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