All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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