In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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