omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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