If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
