You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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