im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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