Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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