Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
