it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
