hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
