Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
