This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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