just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
4 words: hood of his car
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
