he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
