You just made me feel so damn special
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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